We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
