i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
