I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This baby is an asshole
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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