did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dignity is for republicans.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
