just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
