I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
