i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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