i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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