They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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