i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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