omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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