I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
