trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize