some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
did i just pee glitter
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
