Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
