I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
