She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
