so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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