Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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