You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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