Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Houston, we have a blender
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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