DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
