u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
sarcasm needs its own font
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
