you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
