I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
