why im i the only drunk person in the library?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize