everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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