You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
