i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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