remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
