i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize