Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
