**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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