i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize