Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize