Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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