Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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