Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
