get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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