Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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