Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
