did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I would fuck him just for his dog
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
