i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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