I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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