also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
