ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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