I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
