You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
