Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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