I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
