So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
