I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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