They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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