Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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