some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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