areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
