Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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