He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Buhtt sex?
its not stalking. its research.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
