I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
