How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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