The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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