I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
